A Southern Rebel in Yankee Clothing

Read Goin' South
Read Going North

by Bill Rowan

I was aghast seeing myself in Joel’s suit.

“What? What have you done Cletus?” Wait… that didn’t sound like my voice. My drawl was gone. I sounded… no, that couldn’t be…

“Just what I was sent here to do. I turned a Northern Yankee into a good old Southern boy, although not quite in the way the sheriff expected.  I’ve been enjoying being Mark and all the perks that go with it and thought maybe I could share that with my best bud. I changed Joel into you, so he can go back to Pops and tell them all is going well up here while you get to stay with me and have some fun. I don’t think I ever want to go back to being Cletus now, even if I am older and a Yankee. Just think of all we can do together. But first I think we better get a change of clothes for you though. You look ridiculous brother.”

“Brother?” There was that accent again.

“You still haven’t figured it out yet, Will? You’re a smart Southern boy. You should know what happened by now.” A sudden chill ran down my spine as I finally realized…

 “You…you changed me into Joel?” Now I recognized the voice. I was a damn Yankee. What would Pops think? Hi Pops. It’s me Will. Yeah, I know I don’t sound like myself. Oh, and by the way, I’m a Yankee now. Pops would think I was crazy, especially with Joel by his side as me. My head began to spin trying to figure this all out.

“Come on. Let’s go join Will and get you into some proper clothes.” There was nothing I could do about the situation, at least not yet, so I resigned myself to my status as Joel until the opportunity arose where I could do something to get back to being me. As we started to leave I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had to admit I looked hot.

Joel, or rather Will now, had a very perplexed look on his face as we came back to the room.

“Whadj y’all do to me? How did I wind up in Joel’s clothes? Did y’all put them on me when I passed out? Not funny Mark.” I couldn’t stand it, watching Joel look, act and sound like me as though this was all perfectly normal. Mark was just standing there with a smirk on his face, obviously enjoying our predicaments.

“Yes, Will. We thought it would be hilarious seeing you all dressed up in Joel’s clothes.” He could be a sarcastic bastard when he wanted.  Apparently whatever Cletus had done had taken away the knowledge that Mark was really Cletus. I would have to learn what story he had planted in his mind to pull off getting Will up north to visit him.

... oh it’s my Birthday!

... enjoying some time with friends, you have a great day as well!

Seanday Reloaded: Long Time Investment

People talk to me about long time investments, money related of course but I have another way of looking at it with the bonus of extending my life.
Take Darren here, I did about four years ago! He wasn’t as big as he is now, but I could see his potential and I decided to make him my personal project and investment.

I’d been tailing him for a couple of days, he’d been out with his friends and separated from them to walk home; the perfect opportunity for me.

Caption This (12th May)

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Seanday Reloaded: Armed and Ready

"What the hell are you talking about?" Trevor growled at Steve.

"Look, I'm only saying that you can win a lot more if you had some technique rather than just relying on your strength."

Trevor released his grip on Mark who wiped his hand down his orange shirt. "Damn, that's one hell of a grip dude," Mark muttered shaking his hand.

"So you think you can beat me?"

"No, I don't think I can beat you. I'm the smallest guy here for fucks sake," Steve sighed getting a little impatient.

"Thought so, you're all talk."

Caption This (5th May)

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My Name Is Jace

Special thanks to M. Bostlov and his magic clothing shop and to "Pops"

Up until a very short time ago I was a sixty-two year-old man working in a very boring dead-end retail job. All that changed when I wandered into this very odd-looking clothing shop one day. From the outside, M. Bostlov Magic Clothing Store looked like any other little shop along the street, but I couldn’t contain my amazement when I entered. What looked small from the outside was quite large inside. Must be an optical illusion or something. Row after row of various clothing and accessories greeted my eyes. As I studied the aisles more I noticed the store seemed to be divided into sections, although exactly what kind of sections I wasn’t sure. That is when a very dapper looking man walked over to where I stood, and we started to talk. He followed me down the various aisles as I checked out the selections until I came upon what was quite obviously the leather section. I had always had a fancy for leather clothing and in my younger days had always dressed in leathers when riding my motorcycle. I missed those days and sighed as I thought back on all the good times. He must have sensed something for he started to ask me questions, very personal questions indeed but I didn’t mind answering him for some reason. I was feeling very relaxed and quite at ease. The smell of all that leather was intoxicating. As we carried on our conversation he had been picking out various items of leather clothing until he seemed satisfied with his bundle.

“Come into my office with me. I have a proposition you might be interested in.” He smiled so seductively I couldn’t help myself and followed him willingly. By now I had lost all conception of time and my mind was cloudy like I had just woken up from a very deep sleep. He continued to ask me questions: would I like to leave my old life behind and come to work for him in the store? I would never have to worry about anything ever again he assured me. I was so enamored by the leather gear that I immediately answered “yes” without really giving it much thought. But then again what did I have to lose? It probably should have struck me odd that he would want an old man working for him, yet it never occurred to me.  And then, in what should have surprised me, he asked me to take off my clothes and try on the leather gear he had gathered. What surprised me more, I actually disrobed in front of him! I never in my life had done that in front of someone I had just met.

As I stood there stark naked and slightly chilled he held up a pair of leather pants. Nice pants but they looked way too long and way to skinny to fit me. He assured me they would fit okay, urging me to trust him and try them on. I was still skeptical, but I started to pull the pants over my feet and up my legs. The leather felt so great against my bare skin and as I had suspected, it was a tight fit, especially when I tried to pull them up over my hips and waist. He assisted me until finally I was able to zip and button the pants. I felt silly, but he assured me I looked great in the pants. He continued handing me the rest of the gear, none of which I would have sworn would ever fit properly, until I finally was dressed from head to toe in leather. He seemed quite pleased as he looked at me. I could only picture seeing an old man trying to be young again in my mind… until he led me over to a mirror.

Sunday Reloaded: The Hitchhiker

The sun was beating down on my back, these corn fields seem to go on forever. I squatted on the ground and mopped my brow.

I'd been on the run for the past couple of days, hiding out in barns and out buildings from deserted farms. It had been an unfortunate accident, during a confidence scam. One of the local hoodlums had got killed, and they'd hung the thing on me.

The cops knew what I could do; get inside other people and hide but they'd figured out a way to protect themselves. All they needed was a sigil tattooed on the inside of their right wrist, and I wouldn't be able to touch them. People were even able to download, and put it on themselves as a temporary one. I tried to jump someone and found that I'd just bounce off them, scared I'd just ran.

It must have been about four in the afternoon where the field came to an end. In front of me was a dirt track--perfectly straight that disappeared into the distance in each direction.

I had no idea where I was, or which direction I should take. Looking at the sun, I could see it beginning to set so decided to go west.

Walking along the dusty track, I'd occasionally look up and down the track in hope to see something. I knew I'd be risking any contact, but to be honest I was really looking for a shower and somewhere to sleep.

I must have walked about five miles, when I saw a dust cloud heading towards me. I stopped and squinted against the sun; a glint caught my eye. As it approached I could see it was a large pickup. I waved my hand as it got closer, and then it pulled up next to me and stopped.

The window buzzed as it slid down, and the cool air from inside felt like a kiss of an angel. "You OK son?" The driver asked. I said nothing as I basked in the fresh breeze emanating from the cab. The driver; a big guy leaned over and opened the door. "You'd better get in before you pass out boy," he chuckled.

The cool air, beckoned me in, and I practically fell into the passenger seat. I pulled the door closed locking out the heat of the day as the window buzzed up again. The guy handed me a bottle of water, which I accepted and gulped down. "Hey, slow down boy there's plenty."

"Thank you Sir," I gasped.

"You're lucky I came across you, this dirt track is hardly ever used. I've just finished my two week survey, and heading back to the city."

"The city?" I repeated, that's the last place I want to visit full of people protected. "Are there any towns you can drop me off on the way?"

"Not really, it's just corn fields and dirt. The office wants me back urgently, couldn't quite figure out why, so I need to get going. Make your mind up kid."

Caption This (28th Apr)

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Second Career as Chester Bennington

By Slick Psych

Last night, I had knocked out early from my retirement party, satisfied, but bored. Not much left to do, after my wife passed on a few years ago. Yet, somehow, I woke up with a nasty hangover. Once I came to and splashed water to clear my vision, I found myself looking at a very different reflection. The guy I now saw looking back was a lot younger and quite heavily tattooed. I now have several of those piercings that young men are so fond of nowadays. I somehow knew I shouldn’t be complaining, though, to find myself in a much more attractive body. Nice and fit and skinny too. Perhaps fate had given me a second chance at a new career. And maybe a more fulfilling sex life. I already feel a lot more energy than I did when I was his age. And young men seemed to be a lot more open to homosexuality these days, especially in the more alternative scene. I vaguely recall this attractive Asian guy, now that this body’s memories are starting to come to me. Looking at my new reflection, I think I’ll do fine for myself as this “Chester” guy. Yeah, I like that name. Now to go into the stall and see what I’m now packing.

Seanday Shorts: Hit and Miss

I stood there sweating like a pig at the slaughterhouse, a bitter taste in my mouth. Breathing heavy I studied my reflection in the gym's mirror opposite.

Slowly I ran my tongue across my lips and then grinned at the cut of my abs. I'd worked hard to get this body, and it was all mine. Raising my chin smiled and traced a thumb slowly down my pec admiring the way my bicep tightened, and then felt tightness in my shorts. I felt my cheeks flush, and I looked around with a guilty smirk.

"Looking good," a voice whispered. I hadn't even noticed Dominic sidle up next to me carefully looking over my reflection. I'd known him for a couple of years now, he was into sports gear--loved his Adidas. He was a fit guy, not built but lean with heaps of endurance, and kinda cute.

"Thanks," I replied with a shrug, I thought for a moment and added, "looking good yourself."

"Thanks," he replies with a mischievous grin. He leaned in to whisper something, and I leaned over. "He's a proper little fighter."

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Caption This (21st Apr)

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