A Southern Rebel in Yankee Clothing

Read Goin' South
Read Going North

by Bill Rowan

I was aghast seeing myself in Joel’s suit.

“What? What have you done Cletus?” Wait… that didn’t sound like my voice. My drawl was gone. I sounded… no, that couldn’t be…

“Just what I was sent here to do. I turned a Northern Yankee into a good old Southern boy, although not quite in the way the sheriff expected.  I’ve been enjoying being Mark and all the perks that go with it and thought maybe I could share that with my best bud. I changed Joel into you, so he can go back to Pops and tell them all is going well up here while you get to stay with me and have some fun. I don’t think I ever want to go back to being Cletus now, even if I am older and a Yankee. Just think of all we can do together. But first I think we better get a change of clothes for you though. You look ridiculous brother.”

“Brother?” There was that accent again.

“You still haven’t figured it out yet, Will? You’re a smart Southern boy. You should know what happened by now.” A sudden chill ran down my spine as I finally realized…

 “You…you changed me into Joel?” Now I recognized the voice. I was a damn Yankee. What would Pops think? Hi Pops. It’s me Will. Yeah, I know I don’t sound like myself. Oh, and by the way, I’m a Yankee now. Pops would think I was crazy, especially with Joel by his side as me. My head began to spin trying to figure this all out.

“Come on. Let’s go join Will and get you into some proper clothes.” There was nothing I could do about the situation, at least not yet, so I resigned myself to my status as Joel until the opportunity arose where I could do something to get back to being me. As we started to leave I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had to admit I looked hot.

Joel, or rather Will now, had a very perplexed look on his face as we came back to the room.

“Whadj y’all do to me? How did I wind up in Joel’s clothes? Did y’all put them on me when I passed out? Not funny Mark.” I couldn’t stand it, watching Joel look, act and sound like me as though this was all perfectly normal. Mark was just standing there with a smirk on his face, obviously enjoying our predicaments.

“Yes, Will. We thought it would be hilarious seeing you all dressed up in Joel’s clothes.” He could be a sarcastic bastard when he wanted.  Apparently whatever Cletus had done had taken away the knowledge that Mark was really Cletus. I would have to learn what story he had planted in his mind to pull off getting Will up north to visit him.

The new Will made his way to the other room, soon coming back in a robe and handing me the suit. I excused myself to the bathroom where I took off what remained of my old clothes, exposing my new body to me. I was in great shape with a body that would serve me well in every way, but I was a Yankee and that just went against my grain. I proceeded to put on my suit and rejoin my new brother in the other room.

We sat around talking for a while until I started to get tired. I had had a very long day driving up here and then to wind up as Joel, well I was just plum exhausted. I couldn’t very well just go to bed here since this wasn’t my suite anymore. “Mark, I’ve got to get some sleep. Can you take me back to my car?” We had all come together in the limo, so I had no way of leaving on my own. I had no idea where my car was or even what kind it was and if I would be able to drive it. I was only used to pickup trucks and tractors, not what I assumed would be some fancy sports car that a wealthy stud like Joel would drive. On top of that I didn’t know where Joel… I… resided. I figured I could get Mark to tell me what I needed to know when we were alone.

“Why don’t you both hunker down here for the night? There’s sure more room than I will ever need.” Will’s Southern hospitality was manifesting itself.

“Sounds like a great idea, Will. Maybe tomorrow we can all do something fun while you’re in town. I know where the other bedrooms are, so I’ll just take Joel with me and show him where he can sleep tonight. See you in the morning.  Come on, brother.”

“Good night, Will.” That sure sounded strange to me, wishing myself goodnight, and truth be told I wasn’t feeling at all comfortable in my new Joel skin. But my curiosity was aroused wondering what my “brother” had in mind for fun. I followed Mark to another bedroom suite, anticipating that I would likely not get much sleep tonight. I got myself undressed, leaving my boxers on but with a nagging feeling that I should take them off. Something was telling me Joel slept in the buff and I would feel more comfortable that way. “Good night, Joel.” I told myself as I took one last look in the mirror before getting into bed. The satin sheets were cool and soft against my skin. One of the perks of being wealthy I guess. I lay there in the darkness, thoughts running around in my head. I was right. No sleeping tonight…

“Joel, wake up!” Someone was shaking me. I guess I must have fallen asleep. I was so disoriented as I opened my eyes. The unfamiliar room, the feel of my body, and above all the morning wood sending a rush of hormones unlike anything I had ever felt. Not to say I had never had morning wood or that it wasn’t pleasant but there was a strength, a virility to what I was experiencing. More shaking.  “Joel. Time to get up!”

“Huh? Just let me go back to sleep. I was having the strangest dream that I had turned into somebody else.”

“It wasn’t a dream, brother.” I shot up off the bed when he said that, barely able to keep myself covered with the sheets and now very abruptly awake. The events of last night came rushing back in as I realized my reality had indeed shifted and the man I was staring at in front of me was my brother Mark. I had foreign thoughts invading my consciousness and I knew instinctively that they were Joel’s memories and personality trying to take over. I had all I could do not to succumb to them and I think Mark could see the struggle.

“Damn, Mark. What the hell have you done to me?”

“Relax, Will. You may look and sound like Joel, but you are still Will. You can control Joel’s memories and be able to act like him perfectly, so no one will know you aren’t really him. Now go get dressed. I left a surprise for you in the bath.” He left the room and as I still struggled with Joel in my head I went to see what this surprise was. Honestly, I think I had had enough surprises for one lifetime already. This was a relaxing trip to see an old friend? Maybe the day would get better.

I slowly opened the bathroom door….

Well, at least nothing jumped out at me and I still saw Joel reflected in the mirror so no more hocus-pocus. In some ways I think I would have been disappointed if I hadn’t seen Joel there. I didn’t feel quite so alien in his skin anymore. Maybe it was the sleep or his thoughts in my head or maybe a combo of both, but I was beginning to have an appreciation for myself. I glanced around the bath until my eyes came upon what must have been Mark’s surprise. And what a surprise it was! There, in all their glory, were a set of black leathers, black helmet, compression undergarments, boots, and a set of keys. Mark’s idea of a fun day… we were going riding!

A quick shower to get the night off and I was ready to put the gear on. I didn’t even bother to shave – Joel… I looked good with scruff on my face. As I slipped on the outfit I relished the feel of the tightness and the way my body was accented. I might be some spoiled rich Yankee, but I was also one very hot stud… and I was getting cocky. I couldn’t wait to see what else waited for me. I grabbed the helmet and clothes and headed out to join the others. Surprisingly I walked very confidently down the hall to where I heard Mark and Will talking, the smell of coffee with bacon and eggs assaulting my nostrils the closer I got. Like me, the two of them were decked out in riding gear.

“About time you got up, brother. We have a busy day ahead of us. Help yourself to some breakfast.” I sat down beside Mark and watched in amusement as Will scoffed down a healthy portion of food. Southern boys sure can eat I thought to myself before I even realized I was thinking like Joel. Soon we were all fed and ready to face whatever adventure Mark had planned for us, which given how we were dressed figured to be a motorcycle ride to some exciting destination. Like little ducklings following the mama duck, we followed him to the elevator, winding up in the private garage. Sure enough there were three bikes waiting for us, all packed and ready to go. Mark had been busy. “Yours is there, Will, and Joel, yours is that one.” He said as he pointed to one fast looking black machine. I would have to draw on Joel’s riding abilities to handle that beast. I wondered how Will would make out trying to handle his since as Will, I had very little experience riding fast bikes so I knew he would be just a bit intimidated. But Will always was up for a challenge and Mark may have given him the knowledge and abilities he needed. We would soon find out.

We all made out quite well actually. The twisting roads and fast straightaways making for a challenging and exciting ride. We eventually stopped at a roadside diner after riding for heaven knows how long. The leathers were getting a bit warm in the afternoon sun so I decided to undo them down to my waist. Man, I liked the gear but it felt good to be at least partially out of them. All activity in the diner came grinding to a halt as the three of us, looking quite studly in our gear, walked into the place. I could tell the waitresses were having a hard time stopping themselves from staring as we made our way to a booth. And when Will spoke up to give his order, our server started to swoon over his sexy southern drawl. Yankee girls are so easy.

Mark was having fun teasing the ladies. He was definitely one smooth operator. I watched with amusement as my big brother made his moves, all the while keeping his eyes on the door. I turned to look when his eyes suddenly lit up in excitement. The sudden realization hit me. This had all been carefully orchestrated. Why? I would soon learn that very strange events were about to unfold up here in Yankee-land.