Thursday, October 21, 2010

Instant Diet

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“Oh yeah! Who’s got the flat stomach now, huh!” said James, twisting and turning his torso for his roommate, Luke, to see, “Look at this! If I flex real hard, it’s like I’ve got a six-pack. Not too shabby, huh?”

“Stop it!” said Luke, “Give me my body back!”

“Yeah, right,” said James, “Because I’d really like to go back to being fat.”

Luke looked down at the body he was now in. His soft belly protruded out in front of him, capped with a pair of man tits that hung heavily on top. Every time he moved, he could feel it jiggling.

“Please?” said Luke, “Look, once you give me my body back, I’ll work with you on a diet and stuff, okay? I know you’ve been wanting to lose weight, but this is not cool.”

“I think I’ve already lost all the weight I need to lose! It’s like an instant diet!” said James, admiring how small his waist was, and imagining the whole closet full of smaller clothes that he could now fit into, “If you want to get that body into shape, that’s all on you, dude. But there is absolutely no way I’m giving this up!”

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Yeah, I Took The Pills

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“'Morning, Ed,” said Ryan, rubbing his eyes as he came into the kitchen, “Did you take those hair growth pills last night before – Oh my god!!”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “I took the hair growth pills.”

“Holy shit, buddy!” said Ryan, “What the hell happened…?! Well, I guess we can trim you down a little bit, and it won’t be so bad. And is it me, or are you looking a little bit.. beefier this morning?”

“Well I took the muscle growth pills last night, too.”

“Oh no, no, no!” said Ryan, “So you took the hair growth pills and the muscle growth pills both on the same night?”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “So what? I figured I’d just take care of it all at once.”

“Wow, man,” said Ryan, “You’re not supposed to take them together like that. It, like, multiplies the effects.”

“What!” said Ed, “I just wanted a little bit more hair and a little bit more muscle! What are you saying?!”

“I’m saying I think you’re gonna end up one huge, hairy fucking muscleguy, dude,” said Ryan, “I think you’re already halfway there!”

“Halfway!” said Ed, “Oh shit! So I’m gonna get even bigger and even hairier? And how long until the pills wear off and I go back to normal?”

“Well the effects usually last up to 48 hours, but since you took them together, man, I don’t really know…”

“But it’s not gonna be, like, permanent, is it??” said Ed, starting to get worried.

“I don’t know, dude,” said Ryan, “Listen, why don’t we just give it the rest of today to let your transformation finish, and then we’ll enjoy our weekend just like we planned on doing.”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “Except you turned out perfectly and I’m gonna end up some muscle brute.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ryan, “Maybe you’ll like it! And as soon as we get back, we’ll go see the guy who sold us these pills and see what he has to say.”

“Well all right,” said Ed, “But he sure as hell better be able to fix this!”

A Good Dog

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Ah, look at Charlie all tuckered out. It’s too bad I can’t slip into his body right now, but I’ve got to wait until we get home. I saw him down at the park with his buds and his dog this afternoon, and when I saw them packing up to leave, I figured it would be a good chance for me to catch a ride home with him. I could have hopped into one of his buds, but I didn’t think that would give me the chance to get as close to him as I need to.

And so here I am inside of Dexter, Charlie’s golden retriever, just panting my tongue, acting like a good dog, and patiently waiting. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to cuddle up with him on the couch this afternoon as he watches a game or something, and then I’ll hop right into his studly body. He’ll never even see it coming… I just hope he doesn’t try to feed me any dog food first!

Grandpa Jack

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“Grandpa Jack!” said Lizzie, walking into the living room and seeing what appeared to be her older brother, Jason, sitting on the couch smoking a cigar and holding a glass of whiskey, “I knew it was you in there!”

“Ah, you caught me, kid!” said Grandpa Jack, “I had a feeling you were onto me. But, hey, why don’t we just keep this between us?”

“So, does that mean Jason’s in your body now?” asked Lizzie.

“Sure does,” said Grandpa Jack, “Don’t imagine he’s enjoying it too much either. It’s no fun being old, kid.”

“Are you ever going to change back?” asked Lizzie.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” said Grandpa Jack, “I kind of like being a kid again, even if I have to sneak away every now and again to enjoy some whiskey and a cigar.”

“Okay,” said Lizzie, “I won’t tell anybody. But, I was wondering if you could help me with something…”

“What is it, sweetheart?” asked Grandpa Jack.

“Well I’m kind of tired of being a little kid, Grandpa Jack. I wanna be a grownup. Since you switched bodies with Jason, do you think you could make me and Mom switch bodies too?”

“I’ll think about it, pumpkin,” chuckled Grandpa Jack.

“Thanks, Grandpa Jack!” smiled Lizzie, “Uh – I mean, Jason.”

“You’re welcome,” said Grandpa Jack, taking one last puff of his cigar and slipping back into the personality of Jason before his parents came home, “And remember, Lizzie, this is just between you and me!”

Hologram Suit Fail

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Oh, shit! Now I know why this damn hologram suit was so cheap. Yeah, sure, it did the job of making me look like a college fratboy so I could get into this party, but now that I look at all of the pictures I’ve taken, I’m just showing up as a guy in a green hologram suit!

How embarrassing! I’ve gotta get out of here. At least my face is still covered in the pictures. Imagine what all these guys would think if they knew one of their own professors was trying to masquerade as a fratboy and sneak into their party. One thing’s for sure, I won’t be wearing this suit out again any time soon – and next time I buy one, I’m going to make sure it shows up in photos!

Friday, October 8, 2010

You’re Wearing That?

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“Hey –” I said, as I ran into my roommate, Sam, on my way up the stairs, “Where are you headed out to?”

“Oh,” Sam said, “I was just going to go grab a drink or two, see if I can find any fun.”

“And you’re wearing that?” I asked.

“Yeah…” he said, “Is that cool?”

“I guess so,” I said, “I was kind of going to wear that tonight, but it’s fine.”

“You sure?” he said, “I can run back up to the apartment really quick and change if you want.”

“Nah,” I said with a smile, “You look good, man. Just like a cute little muscle Asian. You’re gonna find plenty of fun – I know I sure as hell did the last time I wore him! Anyway, what bar are you going to? Maybe I’ll run upstairs, slip on a suit myself, and join you in a bit.”

“Awesome!” he said, flashing me a peace sign, “Think I’m just going to the one down the street. You should put on the ‘Jamal’ suit. I’d love to see you in that big, black muscle body tonight!”

“Sounds good, bud!” I said, “I’ll meet you down there in a few!”

No Way!

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“Oh, no way!” said Anthony, “That’s you inside of there? No way! Wow, I saw you watching me my whole workout, but I had no idea! Oh my gosh, that is seriously hot! Look at all that hair on your chest – and those muscles! And the shaved head, the beard... Man! What an awesome suit!”

“I thought you’d like it!” smiled Jonathan, “That’s a pretty cute one you’re wearing yourself…”

“Nah, this is just one I throw on to go out to the gym sometimes. But yours, dude, is seriously hot. Do you wanna go back to my place? I could maybe put on one of my musclebear suits and we could play around for a bit. I’ve got some hot leather that we could try on, too. Bet you would look awesome in this harness I just bought!”

“Sounds good to me, stud,” said Jonathan, “Do you want to go hit the showers first? I bet that body you’re wearing right now is a great little dick sucker.”

“Dude, I give great head in this body!” said Anthony, “Lead the way, I can’t wait to show you!”

Or Else What?

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Oh yeah!” said Michael, striking a pose, “Who’s the big brother with the big muscles now, huh!?”

“Mikey, stop it!” whined Matthew, his voice sounding much more childish than he had intended it to, “Please? Give me my body back or else – or else –”

“Or else what, little guy?” Michael chuckled, “You’ll tell Mom and Dad? Don’t you think they’ve gotten a little tired of your ‘fantasy’ about us swapping bodies all the time? They haven’t believed you once, bro. They think you’re just a little kid with an over-active imagination.”

Matthew sat down, defeated. He knew that Michael had a point. Nobody would believe him. He had to do exactly what Michael said and just pretend to be his little brother again until whenever Michael decided to swap back.

“That’s what I thought,” said Michael with a sneer, “Now why don’t you go up to my room and watch cartoons or somethin’. And when Mom and Dad get home, tell ‘em I probably won’t be home until late tonight. I don’t think they’ll mind since I’m the big kid now!”