
The label wanted a clean-
cut, modern-day
boyband. You know, like back in the days of 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys. The only thing is, we didn't fit that mold
at all. We were five black guys, straight from the streets of Detroit, ready to make our big hip hop debut. Yeah, I guess our image was a little rough. So, I mean, when the label told us that they just needed to "clean us up" a little bit, we didn't think anything of it. I mean, they were offering us this huge contract and everything. What were we supposed to do -- say "no"?
It wasn't five minutes after we signed our names on the paper that these guys in suits came in and ushered us off "to the studio." They loaded us up in limousines and everything, man. Askin' us things like if we were ready to hit the big time, ready to be stars. Champagne was flowing, everyone was partyin' -- and then all of the sudden, we all started feeling tired. "You guys have been through a lot today..." they told us, "You're probably just very, very sleepy..."
The next thing I know, I'm waking up in this sort of emergency room. I'm thinkin' what the hell happened... I'm able to turn my head left and right, and I see four other guys layin' beside me, but I don't recognize them. A doctor comes up to me and asks me my name. I hear myself saying "Joshua," but I know that's not my name. My name is D'Andre...
"Very good, Joshua," the doctor tells me, "Now, how old are you and where are you from."
I hear myself say that I am 18 and from Orlando, FL. Neither of those things are true... and it doesn't even sound like my voice... I sound like, I don't know, a white guy. My voice is all high-pitched and smooth and shit. But the doctor seems very satisfied with the answers.
"And I understand you recently signed a record deal with MBS Records?"
"Yeah," I hear myself say, "It's always been my dream. I knew if I worked hard enough and just believed in myself, it would really happen one day!"
What the hell kind of shit is this coming out of my mouth?! And why don't I sound like me!? And yet, all I can do is just lay there and answer her questions.
"Okay, Joshua," the doctor says, "Now just one final thing. I'm going to hand you a mirror. Due to the nature of the incident, you may find your initial appearance to be a bit... shocking. But you will, of course, accept any changes that you see. This is how the label wants you to look, and what the label wants is always best."
That last phrase really strikes a chord in my mind. Yes. She was right. What the label wants is always best...
She hands me a mirror, and I hold it up to my face. I don't know what to feel. The face looking back at me is not my own. The rough African-American features that I've known all my life are gone. Instead, I'm this white guy! This white guy with dark, spiky hair, and a really clean-cut face. I look down at my arms, these white arms with no tattoos, no street-earned muscles. I mean, the arms are toned, but they're like the kind you get from going to the gym a couple times a week. Not from having to defend yourself on the streets your entire life.
I open my mouth to speak.
"Who is this?" I ask, and now the voice that I've been hearing seems to match up perfectly with what I'm seeing in the mirror.
"That's you, Joshua," says the doctor.
"But my name is..." I try to remember what it is.
"Your name is Joshua," says the doctor, bringing the mirror away from my face, "And you are an 18-year-old fresh out of high school and ready to sing and dance and look good on the covers of teen pop magazines. You're very lucky, you know. You're going to be the sort of front-man of this band, a sort of modern-day Justin Timberlake. This is what the label wants of you, and what the label wants --"
"What the label wants is always best..." I finish her sentence in almost a monotone. And then I remember something, far in the back of my mind, "But what happened to Keshawn... and Tré-V... and Iverson... and Lil' D..."
"They are now Kevin, Travis, Ethan, and Matthew," she tells me bluntly.
I look to my left and my right again. That's them, I realize. These four guys -- my four best friends -- grew up with me in the ghetto, came up with me from the streets, and we were gonna make it big. And we were gonna be hip hop stars... Livin' the life, man... But they were all the same as me now. These fuckin' clean-cut white guys.
And then, once more, I feel very sleepy. I close my eyes and my mind is flooded for a moment with images of dance steps and singing lessons all throughout a childhood that isn't mine, and then a high school that I've never even been to before, and the four guys that are laying beside me and how we met there, and how the label picked us up after seeing us perform in a mall. None of it is true, I know that it isn't. But it's what the label wants, and what the label wants is always best.