In collaboration with Smitch (slytojan@yahoo.com)
I had to stop by my Uncle Mike's house to drop off his keys. He'd let me borrow his truck for the weekend so me and my buddies could haul our stuff up to the mountains for some camping. Uncle Mike was always real cool like that. Fuck, he'd even bought us a few cases of beer to take with us!
I knocked on the door a few times, but he didn't answer. I let myself in, figuring he'd just stepped out for a second. I was just gonna leave the keys on the kitchen counter and head out when I heard the shower running. I walked down the hall, thinking I'd knock on the door and just let him know I'd been there. I saw that the door was cracked open a little bit.
"Uncle Mike?" I called out.
I guess he couldn't hear me in the shower. Ah well, I figured. He'd see the keys on the counter and figure out what was up. I was gonna call him later anyways.
Just as I turned back down the hall, however, something caught my eye. Through the crack in the door, I saw my Uncle Mike laying there, slouched against the wall. It looked like he was unconscious!
"Uncle Mike!" I said, pushing the bathroom door open.
I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I entered the room. Yes, there was my Uncle Mike slouched in the corner -- but there was somebody in the shower! I was shocked -- it was my older brother, Danny!
"Danny!" I screamed.
He screamed and jumped back, clumsily trying to cover himself up in the shower. He turned off the water and stepped out.
"What are you doing here!?" he yelled.
"What am I doing here!?" I asked, "What are you doing here! And what's wrong with Uncle Mike! What did you do!"
"Oh my god..." Danny said, grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist, "Look, Andy, I can explain."
"Explain what?" I asked.
"OK," Danny started, "That's not really Uncle Mike..."
He gestured to the slouched over figure on the floor.
"I mean, it is Uncle Mike, but look. OK. You always wondered how I was able to move out and how I've been living on my own and everything? Well this is how... I've been... pretending to be Uncle Mike. And I've just been living his life, really, and... Oh, Andy! I know it doesn't make any sense -- but please, just don't tell anybody!"
"What do you mean you've been pretending to be Uncle Mike?" I asked, dumbfounded.
"See," said Danny, walking over to Uncle Mike's body, "I used this stuff I found online to turn him into... like, a costume. That I can wear. And when I wear it, I look exactly like him, and nobody can even tell the difference."
"Show me," I said, now becoming a little curious.
"OK," said Danny, "But, it's a little weird, ok?
He went over to the Uncle Mike costume and lifted it up. I could tell that it was pretty heavy -- Uncle Mike was a pretty big dude, after all. What I saw next shocked me. My brother stretched out Uncle Mike's mouth, and then stepped right inside like he was pulling up a pair of coveralls. The big, bulky body slid right up over my brother's smaller frame as he roughly pushed and shaped all of the muscles into place.
"OK," he grunted, "Here it goes..."
With that, he flipped Uncle Mike's face up and over his own, becoming Uncle Mike from head to toe. It was amazing. Where my brother had been standing just moments before, there was my Uncle Mike
"Holy shit..." I said.
"Well," Danny said in my Uncle Mike's voice, "What do you think?"
I stood there in silence, trying to sort through my thoughts.
"I think..." I said, hesitating. "I think I wanna try it on..."
Danny, or rather "Uncle Mike," smiled with a wide grin.
"I knew you'd understand!" he beamed, "And of course you can try it on! But listen, bro. Honestly, you can't tell anybody about this, all right? I can't move back in with Mom and Dad. You understand, right? I've got things made, man."
"It's ok," I said honestly, "I won't tell. But you gotta let me come over whenever I want, ok?
"Deal," said Danny, slipping off the facemask, "So do you wanna get in it now?"
"Hell yeah!" I said, stepping up to him and helping him slide the rest of the suit off, "Maybe I can be him for the rest of the night, huh? Go out and buy us some beers and we can just chill?"
"Whatever you want, little bro," Danny chuckled, "As long as you keep it all a secret."
"Oh, don't worry!" I said, "Your secret is definitely safe with me!"