Have You Seen My Son?

“Excuse me, sir,” said Karen, “Have you seen my son? He was here just a second ago, and –”

“Mommy?” interrupted the burly, hairy-chested man sitting in the water, “Mommy, I feel funny. My skin is really itchy, and I feel big!”

“I’m sorry?” said Karen, getting a strange feeling in her stomach, “Sir? I’m sorry. I was just looking for my son. I swear, he was right here just a second ago –”

“I am your son, Mommy!” said the big man, “I’m Caleb! And I live at 2117 Maple Street, and my phone number is 272-7606, and my Mommy’s name is Karen, and my Daddy’s name is David. And… – Mommy, I feel weird!”

“Listen, sicko!” said Michelle, “How the hell do you know all of that!? Now you listen here, if you did something with my son, I swear to god, I will –”

“Mommy!” said the man, bursting into tears, “What’s wrong with me! Stop yelling at me! I want my bear-bear!”

“Oh my god…” said Karen, pausing and kneeling down to look into the stranger’s masculine face, “That’s what Caleb calls his teddy bear. How could you know that…? Unless… Caleb? Is that really you”

“It’s me, Mommy!” said Caleb, “I promise! I was sitting here, and I got real itchy, and then all of this hair got on me and I got really big everywhere…”

“Oh my god!” said Karen, “My baby! Everybody told me not to take you here because that big factory up the shore was dumping chemicals in the water. But, stupid me, I didn’t want to drive an extra twenty minutes to the other beach. Oh my god! What have I done to my baby!”

“I’m still your baby, Mommy!” said Caleb, who, to all outside appearances, was anything but. Still, his face reflected a certain childhood innocence, the tears having quickly dried away, “Mommy, can we go home now?”

He awkwardly stood up on his adult legs, wobbling a bit as he got used to his impressive new frame. He now easily towered over his mother.

“Yes, Caleb,” gulped Karen, “I think we ought to go home now… And then we’re going to call the doctor, and then we’re going to get this all taken care of, ok?”

“OK, Mommy,” said Caleb, “Oh! Does this mean I don’t have to go to school tomorrow!?”