“The Perils of Impatience”

Guest Post by Fabulous Fabian

When I swapped bodies with Greg, the prick who was in my senior class who always bullied me, I thought I would be on easy street, and that no one would ever dare stand up to me and my new studly body. Little did I realize that the former Greg was facing bullies of his own.

Every day after school I have to face my poor excuse for parents and a loser brother who works as a mechanic. My new parents Craig and Linda are not only verbally and emotionally abusive but they force me to constantly do EVERYTHING for them, while my brother Mike, who is older, and not to mention much bigger than me, constantly wails on me and uses me as his punching bag whenever he has female or personal troubles... which is quite frequently. My new family doesn't give a flying fuck about me. No wonder the former Greg was such an asshole and a bully to everyone in high school when he had to put up with even worse shit at home.

Man, I am really starting to wish that the body swap spell that I had used to swap bodies and lives with Greg wasn't a permanent one.

Otherwise I would gladly swap back in to my old body and life or at the very least swap bodies with my older brother Mark, so that I have less shit to deal with. Now I have to face the fact that I am forever stuck as Greg. I now am and will forever be Greg Phillips. What is even shittier is that the former Greg had really shitty grades, and we are only months away from graduating... which now, it looks like I will be repeating my senior year again. I was really looking forward to aspirations of a prominent career after attending a prestigious university, but with my new academic record; that is now just a pipe dream.

Meanwhile the former Greg, who is now living my life in my former body, seems much happier than I now am. The old Greg, now known as Martin, my former name, is going off to Princeton in the fall after graduating in a couple of months. With my... I mean his 4.0 gpa on his academic record he can pretty much do anything his heart desires.

I guess I can just make myself feel a little better about myself and my shitty life if I try and make his life a living hell by tormenting him and becoming his bully, talk about ironic... well I guess only until he graduates, upon which I will never see him again as he travels off to make something of himself as I am left to stagnate here in this nowhere town with no hopes or dreams of a good or prosperous future. Even though, I feel a bit better when I torment and harass him, he still is so much happier than I am. Martin is ecstatic over the fact that he now has a pristine academic record, a full scholarship to Princeton, a much better home life with loving and caring parents, and in a short while the opportunity to forever escape from me and my problems which I take out on him.

What is even worse is I cannot even reveal my sexuality to my family or my new set of friends who are all just as big of pricks as I am now becoming. Everyone in this town is extremely homophobic, and if I'm left to stagnate in this town, I won't only end up with a shitty job, but no prospects of having a love life. I never came out as gay in my previous life and body, as I was too afraid of all of the ignorant folk in this backwoods town. If I was Martin, I would be able to go to new and better places soon and live my life as an openly gay man, with no fear of repercussions. But now that I am Greg, I have lost the ticket that I would have had as Martin out of here. I'm sure that Martin who remains heterosexual in his new body and life will have the girls all over him, judging from all the success and wealth he is bound to amass in his promising future. I'm sure if Martin spends some time in the gym he can whip his puny little body up into a muscle stud which will have all the women drooling over him.

And to think if I only held on a bit longer it could have been my body with all that potential and hope, with all the hot men out there drooling and chasing after me! Martin has already been working out at the gym, and has shown a lot more confidence and stride despite his small physique. He has even tried to stand up to me, which while is impressive, I am much stronger and much more built than he is so he can never really take me on. But still, I never showed confidence like that when I used to be him. Even after I bully and humiliate him, I can never seem to break his spirits, he just gets up, and walks away smiling with plans to beef up and become a real stud, and knowing that shortly he would forever be rid of me.

Sigh... Even though I am 18 my parents keep me dependent on them as to force me to stay here, so that I can be their slave and their aggression outlet. I guess my only hope of leading a successful and somewhat decent life is to run away one night and maybe sell myself on the streets to horny men for an easy buck... anything is surely better than this. If only I had held on and waited, if only I had been more patient, and weathered the storm I got from those losers and bullies and not acted so hastily, I would be going off to my dreams in a few months... but no, I acted rashly and chose what I thought the easy way out was. I may have one hell of a body now as Greg, but I sure as hell have a shitty life... I guess patience really is a virtue. I should have paid closer attention in foreign language class when my teacher recited to us this old Latin proverb which states “Cuivis dolori remedium est patientia”, or "Patience is the cure for all suffering." What a waste…