Complimentary Upgrade

Every time I take a shower in this goddamn suit, the facemask comes loose. And taking it to the beach or the pool? Ha! Forget about it. I'm gonna have to send it in for an exchange. In fact, I might actually replace it with a completely different suit -- I haven't really been able to pick up guys with this one the way I had hoped. Turns out all the guys I'm interested in don't like the "pretty boy" type, so maybe I'll be able to trade this one in for something a little bit more rough around the edges. Hell, maybe they'll even give me some sort of a complimentary upgrade -- like a bigger dick, or some cool tattoos or something. It's the least they could do, given the trouble I've gone through with this suit!