Envy

Envy
by Erick Stratton

Joe lived alone, and he was a lonely man. He was 44 and divorced, fat and balding. He lived in a one-bedroom apartment in a neighborhood which had perhaps 30 or 40 years ago been a flashy new development, but which was now looking awfully run-down and out-of-date. He had no pets, and no plants. He never had friends over (he never had friends), and he rarely went out besides to work – which is where this story really begins.

Joe worked at the local high school as a janitor. He'd worked in a bank once, but that was before the divorce. Now, he spent his days pushing through crowds of noisy, rude high school students who never even gave him a second glance. He hated it and, truthfully, grew more resentful of his position in life every day. It took a while for him to get to the point where he actually wanted to do something about it – but once he got to that point, there was no stopping him.

There was one thing in particular that Joe hated. He hated how these kids walked around in the prime of their lives, and took every moment of it for granted. None of them gave a second thought to how fortunate they were or to how easy they really had it – and the most ungrateful of them all, at least the way Joe saw it, was Matt Wendland.

Matt was a jock, and the school worshiped him – not only the students, but all of the faculty as well. He could do no wrong, as long as he kept winning games for the football team and triumphing in wrestling matches – and as long as his parents kept donating loads of cash to the athletics department. He was beautiful, in an overtly masculine way, with a perfectly and carefully-sculpted body that no 18-year-old should rightfully have. He drove some hot new car that his parents bought for him after he had wrecked the previous one. He sported a new wardrobe every time that Hollister and Abercrombie updated their lines for the season. He had the best parties at his house, he had the best Spring Break stories to tell, he had the best girl in school in his bedroom whenever he damn well pleased. He had the best of everything, but he treated Joe like shit.

Matt would blatantly toss emptied-out energy drink bottles so that they just missed the trash can – especially if he knew that Joe was watching. “Dude, just leave it,” he would say to his jock friends, “That's what we've got Joe the Janitor for.” And then they would leave down the hallway chuckling and grinning and patting each other on the back.

Matt would go out of his way to “accidentally” shoulder check Joe as he demonstrated the play that had won the game last weekend. Matt would carelessly lead his throngs of friends through a lobby that Joe had just mopped. Matt would tip over the trash cans in the locker room, Matt would leave cruel things written on whiteboards that he knew Joe would be coming in to clean; and Matt didn't give a fuck about how it made Joe feel. To Matt, it was funny. Some of his friends might have known otherwise, but they would never question Matt's authority. So they laughed along, hoping to gain (or maintain) acceptance from their idol.

At first, it was enough for Joe to simply grumble things under his breath whenever Matt disrespected him. But it eventually started to wear on him, letting some 18-year-old stud humiliate him like that. And eventually it wore on him so much that he started seeing things in a very different way.

Sometimes, he would imagine being on the other side of Matt's tormenting. He would imagine being the high schooler who had no idea what it was like to see real failure in life, and who had so many good things around him that he didn't have any need at all to respect the people and things that were below him. It would be nice to be like that, Joe thought, It would be nice to be Matt Wendland.

After Joe realized that he envied Matt's life, it took only a very short time before he was flat-out obsessed with it. At night, he would think about what Matt was doing at that particular moment. He would hear about a party that Matt was having and imagine all of the girls that were hanging off of him as he drunkenly flexed his biceps. Joe wanted to know everything that there was about Matt, so that his fantasies could be more complete; and the more he learned, the more obsessed he became.

Soon, he looked forward to seeing Matt at school. He looked forward to any encounter that he would have with the jock, and departed from his scheduled duties specifically because he wanted to follow Matt around. I want to be Matt Wendland, he thought to himself.

At home, Joe would clip out any newspaper article that mentioned Matt, and from this he learned things about Matt that he wouldn't have learned from simply observing him in the hallways. He was able to piece together somewhat of a biography of Matt from mentions in the articles about his family and his history as a football player and wrestler. There was an article in one of the papers where Matt discussed what he wanted to do after high school.

“A couple of schools have already offered me the chance to play on their teams, but I'm still looking forward to some more schools scouting me later in the season,” Matt was quoted.

To go to college for free, thought Joe, And all I'd have to do is be on their team.

After he read that article, Joe began to ferociously study the sport of football. He watched more games, checked more websites for scores and statistics, read more magazines than even the most die-hard football fans would consider to be necessary. But Joe wanted to know everything – and in fact, he did become quite knowledgeable about it. He only wished he would actually get to play, and many of his fantasies about Matt became about being on the field, scoring the winning touchdown, fucking the head cheerleader afterwards as he released into her any tension and aggressiveness that hadn't been taken care of during the game.

It was unhealthy the time that Joe spent fantasizing about things like that, it really was. But Joe hoped that it would pay off, and convinced himself that one day he really would get to be Matt Wendland.

The school year was coming to a close, and the thought of Matt leaving for college was absolutely awful for Joe. He knew that if he was going to do something, he had to do it soon. He followed Matt more intently than ever, even parking across the street of Matt's house and peering through the windows with a pair of binoculars. This way, he could see the way that Matt interacted with his family and the way that he moved around his own house.

It was on one of these “observation trips” (as Joe liked to call them) that he finally figured out how he was going to do it.

He noticed that Matt left his car unlocked. It was a careless thing to do, but if it got stolen his parents would probably just buy him a new one. So why would Matt care about locking it? Joe couldn't wait to have that care-free, cocky, I-can-have-anything-I-want attitude.

And so, the car had been left unlocked, and Matt had gone inside the house. Joe had to take the opportunity. He had to. He grabbed the things that he needed from his own car, and crossed the street as stealthily as he could. Ducking into the Wendland's driveway and behind Matt's car, he felt for the door handle while keeping his eyes on the house. The sound of the back passenger-side door opening seemed terribly loud to Joe, but his action was quick. Into the back seat he went, softly closing the door behind him. And there he waited, pressed as low to the floor as he could be.

He didn't wait long, or maybe he did. The time passed quickly because his mind was racing with the anticipation of finally having that one thing that he had envied for so long. When he heard the front driver-side door open, his heart stopped. But it was promptly closed again, and then there was Matt in the same car with Joe. It was so close now. The engine roared up, Matt pumped up his music and backed out of the driveway without any idea of what was coming.

Joe let him drive for a bit. They were driving out to one of Matt's friends' house, which was just a little bit out of town in one of those new developments that pop up along what used to be a quiet country road. Joe knew exactly where they were going, of course. He had pretended to be mopping the locker room earlier when he heard Matt talking about the party on his cell phone. Joe lifted his head up a bit every now and again, and he knew that when he started seeing less lights and neon signs flying by, that they were getting farther and farther out of town.

A few more minutes, he thought, and he smiled at hearing Matt singing along with the music, because he knew that he would have that voice soon.

There were no street lights now, no headlights passing in the other direction, and Matt was cruising steadily along. This was the time, and Joe knew it. He pushed himself up from the floor of the car, slowly rising so that he was kneeling directly behind Matt. He stayed there for a moment, sniffing in the cologne that Matt was wearing. His smile became bigger, his intentions became more difficult to prolong.

It was then that Matt chanced to look into his rearview mirror, and upon seeing Joe's unkempt, scraggly, sunken face reflected there, he swerved sharply into the shoulder of the road.

“Fuck!” he said, flailing his muscular arm around the back of the seat in an instinctual attempt to fight off Joe, “What the fuck are you doing! You fucking creep!”

Matt kept one hand on the wheel, but the car was swerving all over the country road as he fought against Joe. The lights from the housing development came up on the horizon.

“Stay calm,” Joe said. His voice was strange, loaded with both madness and joy at the same time, “You're going to pull over. I need you to pull over.”

“Fuck no!” Matt fumbled for his cell phone, “Fuckin', there's all kinds of fuckin' houses up here! Somebody will see what you're doing! You fucking creep!”

“I know there are houses up there,” Joe said, “And your friend Lincoln's house is up there, and he's having a party, and I'm going to look great when I show up to it in your body.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! You fucking creep!” the cell phone slipped out of Matt's hands.

He swirved sharply again as he reached down to retrieve it. The phone slid out of his reach.

“I need you to pull over,” Joe repeated.

“I'm not fucking pulling over!” Matt returned to trying to physically attack Joe. Joe loved Matt's arrogance, thinking that he could get out of this.

From the floor of the car, Joe slowly and deliberately brought up a knife. It caught a flash of moonlight as he brought it up to the the jock's neck and held it there.

“I need you to pull over,” Joe said.

And finally, Matt gave in. Matt Wendland, the super stud who didn't appear to be afraid of anything, had fear in his eyes. Maybe he did appreciate his life after all, Joe thought. The car slowed down. Matt was shaking as he guided it to the side of the road and parked it. He left the key in the ignition. His thick chest heaved up and down a few times. It was quiet – but only for a moment before Matt courageously, if not stupidly, threw his elbow into Joe's face with a thud. The threat of the knife instantly removed, Matt pushed the driver-side door open and, still incredibly shaken up, stumbled out of the car.

Joe, of course, had anticipated something like this, and was right behind Matt without any delay. This would be the first time where all of that endless studying of football plays would come into use. Joe quickly and almost effortlessly chased Matt for ten feet or so before tackling the football player to the ground.

“What the fuck do you want from me, dude?” Matt asked helplessly, choking up the gravelly dirt from the side of the road, “I'll fucking give you whatever you want.”

“Oh really?” said Joe, as he pinned the jock down and began to remove his own clothes. He was careful so that as he removed each article of clothing, he still had a firm hold on Matt. Matt continued to struggle, but Joe was a big guy. He could hold his own, and he had prepared for this.

Finally he was completely nude. He was naked and on top of Matt Wendland, who was face-down in the dirt. He laughed, and it was a laugh of victory as he pushed his hand into Matt's back.

He felt no resistance. His fat hand simply slid in through the tight polo that Matt was wearing, through Matt's skin even, and through his thick muscles. Matt screamed at the feeling of having his body so sickeningly violated – no, not violated – occupied. He was being occupied.

Joe continued to push into Matt's body, positioning his arms into Matt's one at a time, and then slipping his legs beneath the surface. He felt his tiny cock become absorbed into Matt's huge member. He finally pressed his torso fully into Matt's. Matt screamed even more helplessly.

“Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!” he shouted out as tears streamed down his face, “Get out of me! Get the fuck out of me!”

Joe took one final big breath, feeling the air come in through his own mouth but inflating Matt's athletic lungs. And then, he closed his eyes and and pressed his face right into the back of Matt's head.

He gasped, and he tasted dirt in his mouth; and he knew instantly that it had worked. He laughed. He could do nothing else but laugh. He heard Matt's voice coming out of his throat, and it only made him laugh more. He leaped up, feeling so strong and quick, and he stretched himself out in the moonlight.

He looked down at his arms, and couldn't wait to use them to powerfully send a football sailing through the air. He looked down at the way his pecs stretched the fabric of his tight polo – although, a change of clothing would be necessary before he went up to the party.

Thinking about the party, he knew he had to get there soon, or else people would start to wonder. He made his way back to the car, feeling his strong legs underneath him as he imitated Matt's swagger. He had tried imitating it before, but it felt so much better now that he actually had all of Matt's body parts under his control. Joe had brought along some of Matt's clothes – things that Matt had left laying around the locker room throughout the school year. It wasn't going to be a particularly flashy outfit, but at least it was something that didn't have dirt and blood all over it.

Joe shamelessly stripped off Matt's shirt. His chest was glistening with sweat. His muscles were pumped up from the struggle. He slid on the shirt that he had brought along. Next came the pants, and they fit perfectly. They were tight, but Joe liked that. He liked the feeling of having his muscles pushing the limits of his clothing. It made him feel hot. But then, he was hot now. The hottest.

He tossed the dirty clothes in the trunk, and then went around to take his seat in the front of the car. Joe looked into the rearview mirror and realized that Joe the Janitor was gone. He was Matt now. Matt Wendland, the guy that everybody envied. He smiled, and Matt smiled back. He thought about the nice cold beers he was going to have at the party, and the hot chicks that were going to be all over him all night. He thought about stumbling home drunk at the end of the night and trying to avoid his father, he though about the hangover the next morning, the crunch to get all of his homework done before school on Monday; and he thought about everything that was to come after that.

And he laughed. He could do nothing else but laugh.

He turned the keys, which were still in the ignition, flipped on the headlights, and pulled out once again onto the quiet country road, knowing that he had nothing to envy any more.