I had gone shopping at my local WalMart store the other day
and decided to browse through the magazine section. My eye caught a glimpse of
a very handsome model on the cover of a men’s fashion magazine, one of a kind
apparently since there were no others like it on the shelf. Upon closer
inspection, I discovered the model was Matt Bomer, an actor I recognized from a
few TV shows I had seen. I wasn’t particularly a fan of his but for some reason
I had an overwhelming desire to buy the magazine and that compulsion and
excitement only got deeper as I stood in line to pay for it.
I got to my house and set the magazine down on the table while
I took off my jacket and went to hang it up. Imagine my surprise when, instead
of the magazine I had purchased, I found a tabloid paper upon my return. How
had that gotten there? The front page had a picture of the Amell cousins Robbie
and Stephen rather than Matt. Curious, I opened the paper to find Matt on the
second page yet every page after blank. Strange tabloid with only two stories
in it.
Cavanaugh’s Celebrity Chatter
Matt Bomer: Sexiest Gay
Man Alive?
I couldn’t help but stare at that handsome face and those
beautiful eyes. It was like he was gazing straight into my soul. Dam, did all
gay guys look this hot? Mind you I’m not gay. I didn’t deny “them” their
lifestyle but I wanted nothing to do with “them”. My philosophy had always been
“you don’t bother me and I won’t bother you”. Yet I envied him despite him
being one of “them”. As I stood there
looking at the picture I could have sworn a jolt of electricity passed into me
from his eyes but I thought nothing further of it until an intense pain
overwhelmed my entire body. My insides were rearranging themselves to align
with my lengthening legs and torso, the bones crunching sickeningly as they expanded.
What was happening to me? I doubled over from the pain until suddenly a
euphoric bliss overtook me as my muscles blossomed and molded themselves into
powerful carved works of art. By the time the changes ceased my clothes were unable to contain the new me. I was standing
stark naked, panting heavily from the phantom orgasm I had just experienced.
I rushed to my bathroom so I could check myself out,
excited yet dreading what I might see. What a glorious sight I beheld, my body now
looking much younger and muscular than before with a vitality I hadn’t felt in
years coursing through my veins. My skin had darkened to a great tan shade and
I had lost all my body hair. My body was beautiful, like a sculptured
masterpiece by Michelangelo. One other fact didn’t escape my notice either: my
package was a beast befitting of this body. Then I glanced up at my face…
Unfortunately, my head was not in sync with the rest of my
body. What a joke I would be having a young god’s body with an old man’s face.
I was lamenting how cruel Fate could be when my head began to pulse. As I stood
gaping into the mirror I watched as my thin gray hair grew longer while
becoming thicker and black, followed by my features reshaping to become
classically handsome with a chiseled jaw. Finally, my eyes went from muddy
brown to piercing blue. I couldn’t get enough of myself. I looked like Matt
Bomer! I was enjoying the idea of having the body of a stud. Ah, the women
would go crazy over me now.
“Men will, too.”
“I don’t care about the men.”
“Well of course you do Michael!”
I can’t believe I’m standing here naked arguing with
myself. “My name isn’t…”
“Of course it is. Michael David Bomer.”
“No! I’m not related
to… “
“Yes, you are. You’re his identical twin. Identical in
every way. People can’t tell you apart. Michael and Matt Bomer – the two
sexiest gay men on the planet.”
I felt dizzy. The
room began to blur in and out until finally I found myself in a much larger luxurious
apartment, dressed quite stylishly in a gray suit, white shirt, and tie. I had
great clothes sense like my brother.
“No, no, no. I’m not Michael.” This couldn’t be happening.
Please wake me up!
“You are awake, Michael.” I spun around to see a stranger
talking to me. “I’m Mr. Cavanaugh… you know… Cavanaugh’s Celebrity Chatter.”
“You… you did this to me?”
“Actually, you did it to yourself. I just helped a bit with
the details.”
“But I’m not Michael. I’m still me.”
“And you always will be aware of who you were but I’m quite
sure you are now Michael. Your memories, mannerisms, everything about you is
Michael.”
I had the perfect body, the perfect life, and I was the one
thing I despised most. I was one of “them”.
“Just desserts, don’t you think? Don’t forget you have a
dinner date with Matt and his husband in an hour. You don’t want to be late.”
Memories flooded into my head. I remembered I had a very
handsome date waiting for me. Much to my disgust and delight, the thought of
picking him up for the evening started to arouse me. My body, my beautiful
god-like body, was betraying me. I was anticipating the pleasure coming later
after dinner.
“Enjoy your new
life.” With that Mr. Cavanaugh disappeared, his laughter echoing in my head.
“Wait… you can’t leave me like this I…” but he was gone. I
knew there was no going back. I sighed, the old part of me cringing as I resigned
myself to who I now was. I was Matt’s twin and I loved my brother above all
else. I went to the mirror to make sure I was ready for my date. My reflection
stared back at me with those beautiful soul-piercing eyes and sexy smile. I
guess there were worse fates than being Michael.
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