desde que mis padres murieron yo siempre había tenido que cuidar de Josh, mi hermanito de 4 años, desde hacia un año lo había tenido que llevar a todas partes, a la universidad, al trabajo, incluso a el gimnasio donde yo entrenaba, mi nombre es Sean, tengo 21 años y trabajo en una oficina como ayudante, mis ratos libres los uso en el gimnasio, pero como tardo mucho tiempo tengo que llevar una botella de leche para Josh, con la finalidad de que este tranquilo, era lunes por la tarde y Josh estaba dormido porque había tenido un día muy cansado en el jardín de niños, ese día lo deje durmiendo sobre unos cojines del área infantil que el encargado del gimnasio tenia al lado de su local para las madres que solían llevar a sus hijos durante el spinning, yo estaba entrenando aquel día cuando de repente Josh despertó, me pidió su leche pero yo estaba concentrado en mi entrenamiento y no le hice caso, me pidió la botella de leche varias veces pero yo me nege o lo deje para después, yo normalmente soy un buen hermano pero cuando estoy entrenando es difícil que piense en otra cosa, Josh empezó a llorar y entonces una luz segadora me desoriento, un momento después yo sentía las lagrimas sobre mis mejillas y frente a mi estaba yo mismo mirando confuso a mi alrededor, de inmediato me dispuse a ver mi cuerpo, con un escalofrió me di cuenta de que ahora estaba en el cuerpo de josh, intente hablar pero de mi boca las palabras sonaban extrañas, yo estaba desesperado, me senté en el suelo del área infantil mientras mi cuerpo iba caminando tambaleante hacia la botella de leche y daba un largo trago, ¡yo solo espero que esto termine pronto!
"Since my parents died I always had wanted to take care of Josh, my little brother of 4 years, since through the year I had had to take him everywhere, to the university, work, including the gym where I trained, my name is Sean, I'm 21 years old, and I work in an officer as an assistant, my free time I use in the gym, but as much time (I'm not sure how to translate this part, it's like," as much time as I spent at the gym" I think...? Maybe Slick can help with this part.) I had to carry a bottle of milk for Josh, with the end of that rest, it was monday evening and Josh was sleeping because he had had a tiring day in the 'daycare' (garden of kids) that the gym had at its side for the mothers that often brought their children to go spinning, I was training that day when all of a sudden Josh woke up, he asked me for his milk but I was focusing on my training and I didn't pay attention, he asked me for the bottle a lot of times but I denied, or I left it for after, I normally am a good brother but when I'm training it's difficult to think about something else, Josh started to cry and so a security light disoriented me, a moment after I felt tears on my cheeks, and in front of me was myself looking around confused, immediately I ordered myself to look at my body, with a chill, I realized that I was now in Josh's body, I tried to speak but 'of my mouth' the words sounded strange, I was deesperate, I sat down in the soil of the kids play area while my body was running 'awkwardly' through the bottle of milk and took a long drink. I just hope that this ends soon!
Greetings from Mexico C.E."
I'm not sure how well I translated that, but that's basically the gist of it.
Please, a good body swap, between a black criminal that in order to scape swaps bodies with this guy. And this guy in the body me the black guy learns how to be a criminal and start a mental transformation, the white guy in the criminal body start to behave more than a criminal and the black guy in the hunk body start to behave like a party cocky white jock. Please!!!!!!!
A homophobic black guy switches with a muscular white guy to escape his crimesthey take on eachothers traits and then the formerly black guy finds out his new body is gay
Can I just say, it seems a lot of anonymous people on here are pretty demanding. It gets a bit annoying to me, as a writer.
It's one thing to offer suggestions about future stories or directions the stories could possibly take, its another to basically demand someone write the stories they want to see.
Sorry dude, I don't wanna be rude... If you notice, at the end I said 'please' I'm not demanding anything. You can use that storyline or you can't but that's up to you. I approach you because you're good at writing and I really like the stories here but again it's just an idea, relax bro!!!!
OK fair enough, but it still comes off as demanding. As a writer, it comes off to me as "I don't want to bother writing this story idea myself, but I want someone to write it for me!"
I'm just saying, realize that those of us on here or any similar sites writing aren't professional writers for the most part. I've never been paid for my stories, just my political essays and even then, it's chump change.
So we're all busy working on other stuff. I know there are some people here or elsewhere who write more than others. When I finish with my MBA, I might take up more writing too, but until then, I'm only working on a few things on the side.
So all I'm asking for all those who remain anonymous on here, we writers appreciate your thanks and your enthusiasm for our writing, we even like your suggestions, but be aware that sometimes what you say can come off a little demanding, like we should drop everything else we're doing and comply with your requests for a particular story.
I just want to say, these "Caption This" entries are YOUR chance to try your hand at writing. No one is expecting the next masterpiece of English literature here, so don't worry if it's not perfection, all we usually ask is you do a bit of spell checking and read over it before posting to see if it makes sense. There's nothing worse than reading a badly written story with a lot of spelling errors or where the writer confuses the characters, ending up confusing the reader.
For example, which sounds better:
"Josh sudnly became the big muscleur jock Eddie and he started to to rub up and down on his abs and bigg pecks! Josh now in the little whimp body stars to cry."
or
"Josh suddenly became the big muscular jock Eddie, and he started to rub up and down on his abs and big pecs! Eddie, now in the little wimp body, started to cry."
I can't tell you how many stories I've seen on CYOC of even here (unfortunately) that look more like that first sentence. Granted, I'm not perfect either, I make mistakes too, but I try to avoid big easy ones like those.
So to sum up, you have a story idea Anonymous, go with it! Try your hand at writing up this story idea of yours here on this post. Spell check and re-read it before posting and I'm sure it will come out fine. We all started somewhere, I started writing this stuff over a decade ago, and if you compared my early stuff to my most recent stuff, you wouldn't know it came from the same person.
So seriously, give it a shot. You might surprise yourself and be a future writer yourself.
Thanks Cain, there's less pressure writing a story in Caption This--it's relaxed and hopefully eases in new and old writers into contributing.
We've had writers from Japan and in the case of the first comment here, Mexico. So whether you're a first time author, or English isn't your first language give it a go.
Well, it's never come off as 'demanding' to me personally, and at the top it does say "...perhaps suggest something for others to write."
It's different if they're randomly like "Hey Curious. Write this."
Usually I get comments like "It'd be cool if..." or "Please continue this!" But I've never felt like anyone was demanding a story. The worst I've had is someone saying "so and so's stories are all really great!.. everyone else is just mediocre" without saying WHY they feel that way. And that was a one time thing. Also, with the internet, it's hard to distinguish a lot of things, like, in real life it would probably sound like a request if you could hear the tone of voice, versus online where everything kind of sounds 'cold'.
Also, some people have great ideas, they just have issues putting them into a story, so that's why they suggest it in hopes that someone can give her or his story life.
I feel like this sounds really aggressive and it's not meant to be, so I apologize in advance if it sounds that way. $:
Now, I'd heard of the claims made by the meatheads at the gym. But after finally trying musclemilk for myself, I can see why they preach about it so much! I believe the routine is start with one muscle group, rest, next muscle group, rest; I think my routine may just have to go: musclemilk for me, search for good-looking skinny nerd, musclemilk for him, date.
'Ah finally, Sean. Now your body is mine to control.' I mused in my thoughts as I flexed my abs and biceps in front of the mirror.
---
Every since Sean show off his muscles all around out dorm, I have been planing to take over his body pernamently. I was looking around in google search and any other random search site. And I finally found one, but its gonna be painful though.
I quickly proceed towards our college gym and ask for sean, most of the guys said thet saw him entering the lockers. Perfect! I entered the locker room and look around for him, i saw nothing but Sean's protein shake, and heard a shower running. 'He must be showering.' i thought as i also must act quick. I quickly popped open his protein shake and mutter the spells that i had seen on the side.
After alot of pains everywhere, there only left a puddle of water (which is me) near Sean's shake. I quickly moved myself into his bottle and mixed myself with the shake as it filled to the brim. Now it's time for me to wait.
Sean was out of showers after five minutes. He is wearing what he wore this morng before he left for gym, completely dried except for the hair. He quickly took his bottle amd give it a little shake before sipping it.
It was then, my essence flow into him, first controlinf his legs so he could not run, then his arms, so i could force him to drink finish the 'shake'. Gulping all of it down, suddenly i felt a surge of power rush through me and i smile as i heard Sean in my head screaming for help.
I let out a laugh as i continue my way in his life.
desde que mis padres murieron yo siempre había tenido que cuidar de Josh, mi hermanito de 4 años, desde hacia un año lo había tenido que llevar a todas partes, a la universidad, al trabajo, incluso a el gimnasio donde yo entrenaba, mi nombre es Sean, tengo 21 años y trabajo en una oficina como ayudante, mis ratos libres los uso en el gimnasio, pero como tardo mucho tiempo tengo que llevar una botella de leche para Josh, con la finalidad de que este tranquilo, era lunes por la tarde y Josh estaba dormido porque había tenido un día muy cansado en el jardín de niños, ese día lo deje durmiendo sobre unos cojines del área infantil que el encargado del gimnasio tenia al lado de su local para las madres que solían llevar a sus hijos durante el spinning, yo estaba entrenando aquel día cuando de repente Josh despertó, me pidió su leche pero yo estaba concentrado en mi entrenamiento y no le hice caso, me pidió la botella de leche varias veces pero yo me nege o lo deje para después, yo normalmente soy un buen hermano pero cuando estoy entrenando es difícil que piense en otra cosa, Josh empezó a llorar y entonces una luz segadora me desoriento, un momento después yo sentía las lagrimas sobre mis mejillas y frente a mi estaba yo mismo mirando confuso a mi alrededor, de inmediato me dispuse a ver mi cuerpo, con un escalofrió me di cuenta de que ahora estaba en el cuerpo de josh, intente hablar pero de mi boca las palabras sonaban extrañas, yo estaba desesperado, me senté en el suelo del área infantil mientras mi cuerpo iba caminando tambaleante hacia la botella de leche y daba un largo trago, ¡yo solo espero que esto termine pronto!
ReplyDeletesaludos desde México
C.E.
"Since my parents died I always had wanted to take care of Josh, my little brother of 4 years, since through the year I had had to take him everywhere, to the university, work, including the gym where I trained, my name is Sean, I'm 21 years old, and I work in an officer as an assistant, my free time I use in the gym, but as much time (I'm not sure how to translate this part, it's like," as much time as I spent at the gym" I think...? Maybe Slick can help with this part.) I had to carry a bottle of milk for Josh, with the end of that rest, it was monday evening and Josh was sleeping because he had had a tiring day in the 'daycare' (garden of kids) that the gym had at its side for the mothers that often brought their children to go spinning, I was training that day when all of a sudden Josh woke up, he asked me for his milk but I was focusing on my training and I didn't pay attention, he asked me for the bottle a lot of times but I denied, or I left it for after, I normally am a good brother but when I'm training it's difficult to think about something else, Josh started to cry and so a security light disoriented me, a moment after I felt tears on my cheeks, and in front of me was myself looking around confused, immediately I ordered myself to look at my body, with a chill, I realized that I was now in Josh's body, I tried to speak but 'of my mouth' the words sounded strange, I was deesperate, I sat down in the soil of the kids play area while my body was running 'awkwardly' through the bottle of milk and took a long drink. I just hope that this ends soon!
DeleteGreetings from Mexico
C.E."
I'm not sure how well I translated that, but that's basically the gist of it.
Please, a good body swap, between a black criminal that in order to scape swaps bodies with this guy. And this guy in the body me the black guy learns how to be a criminal and start a mental transformation, the white guy in the criminal body start to behave more than a criminal and the black guy in the hunk body start to behave like a party cocky white jock. Please!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA homophobic black guy switches with a muscular white guy to escape his crimesthey take on eachothers traits and then the formerly black guy finds out his new body is gay
DeleteWow!!!! That's amazing!! Could you continue it, please? :-D thanks anon :-D
DeleteCan I just say, it seems a lot of anonymous people on here are pretty demanding. It gets a bit annoying to me, as a writer.
ReplyDeleteIt's one thing to offer suggestions about future stories or directions the stories could possibly take, its another to basically demand someone write the stories they want to see.
If you want a story so bad, write it yourself!
CAIN
Sorry dude, I don't wanna be rude... If you notice, at the end I said 'please' I'm not demanding anything. You can use that storyline or you can't but that's up to you.
ReplyDeleteI approach you because you're good at writing and I really like the stories here but again it's just an idea, relax bro!!!!
OK fair enough, but it still comes off as demanding. As a writer, it comes off to me as "I don't want to bother writing this story idea myself, but I want someone to write it for me!"
ReplyDeleteI'm just saying, realize that those of us on here or any similar sites writing aren't professional writers for the most part. I've never been paid for my stories, just my political essays and even then, it's chump change.
So we're all busy working on other stuff. I know there are some people here or elsewhere who write more than others. When I finish with my MBA, I might take up more writing too, but until then, I'm only working on a few things on the side.
So all I'm asking for all those who remain anonymous on here, we writers appreciate your thanks and your enthusiasm for our writing, we even like your suggestions, but be aware that sometimes what you say can come off a little demanding, like we should drop everything else we're doing and comply with your requests for a particular story.
I just want to say, these "Caption This" entries are YOUR chance to try your hand at writing. No one is expecting the next masterpiece of English literature here, so don't worry if it's not perfection, all we usually ask is you do a bit of spell checking and read over it before posting to see if it makes sense. There's nothing worse than reading a badly written story with a lot of spelling errors or where the writer confuses the characters, ending up confusing the reader.
For example, which sounds better:
"Josh sudnly became the big muscleur jock Eddie and he started to to rub up and down on his abs and bigg pecks! Josh now in the little whimp body stars to cry."
or
"Josh suddenly became the big muscular jock Eddie, and he started to rub up and down on his abs and big pecs! Eddie, now in the little wimp body, started to cry."
I can't tell you how many stories I've seen on CYOC of even here (unfortunately) that look more like that first sentence. Granted, I'm not perfect either, I make mistakes too, but I try to avoid big easy ones like those.
So to sum up, you have a story idea Anonymous, go with it! Try your hand at writing up this story idea of yours here on this post. Spell check and re-read it before posting and I'm sure it will come out fine. We all started somewhere, I started writing this stuff over a decade ago, and if you compared my early stuff to my most recent stuff, you wouldn't know it came from the same person.
So seriously, give it a shot. You might surprise yourself and be a future writer yourself.
CAIN
Thanks Cain, there's less pressure writing a story in Caption This--it's relaxed and hopefully eases in new and old writers into contributing.
DeleteWe've had writers from Japan and in the case of the first comment here, Mexico. So whether you're a first time author, or English isn't your first language give it a go.
Well, it's never come off as 'demanding' to me personally, and at the top it does say "...perhaps suggest something for others to write."
DeleteIt's different if they're randomly like "Hey Curious. Write this."
Usually I get comments like "It'd be cool if..." or "Please continue this!" But I've never felt like anyone was demanding a story. The worst I've had is someone saying "so and so's stories are all really great!.. everyone else is just mediocre" without saying WHY they feel that way. And that was a one time thing. Also, with the internet, it's hard to distinguish a lot of things, like, in real life it would probably sound like a request if you could hear the tone of voice, versus online where everything kind of sounds 'cold'.
Also, some people have great ideas, they just have issues putting them into a story, so that's why they suggest it in hopes that someone can give her or his story life.
I feel like this sounds really aggressive and it's not meant to be, so I apologize in advance if it sounds that way. $:
Now, I'd heard of the claims made by the meatheads at the gym. But after finally trying musclemilk for myself, I can see why they preach about it so much! I believe the routine is start with one muscle group, rest, next muscle group, rest; I think my routine may just have to go: musclemilk for me, search for good-looking skinny nerd, musclemilk for him, date.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's just the first rep.
-->Jake Archer (written on an iPhone)
Thanks Jake, nice addition.
Delete'Ah finally, Sean. Now your body is mine to control.' I mused in my thoughts as I flexed my abs and biceps in front of the mirror.
ReplyDelete---
Every since Sean show off his muscles all around out dorm, I have been planing to take over his body pernamently. I was looking around in google search and any other random search site. And I finally found one, but its gonna be painful though.
I quickly proceed towards our college gym and ask for sean, most of the guys said thet saw him entering the lockers. Perfect! I entered the locker room and look around for him, i saw nothing but Sean's protein shake, and heard a shower running. 'He must be showering.' i thought as i also must act quick. I quickly popped open his protein shake and mutter the spells that i had seen on the side.
After alot of pains everywhere, there only left a puddle of water (which is me) near Sean's shake. I quickly moved myself into his bottle and mixed myself with the shake as it filled to the brim. Now it's time for me to wait.
Sean was out of showers after five minutes. He is wearing what he wore this morng before he left for gym, completely dried except for the hair. He quickly took his bottle amd give it a little shake before sipping it.
It was then, my essence flow into him, first controlinf his legs so he could not run, then his arms, so i could force him to drink finish the 'shake'. Gulping all of it down, suddenly i felt a surge of power rush through me and i smile as i heard Sean in my head screaming for help.
I let out a laugh as i continue my way in his life.
---
Abit crappy + old pics rock?
- DA.
Nice story, interesting idea. Thanks for sending it in.
Delete