Guest Post by Slick Psych

Would like to thank Slick Psych for his GREAT story for the 1st  “Caption This”. Let me know if you wish to post more Slick!

“Fucker’s gonna be late, as usual” LaRon sighed as he leaned against the Winn-Dixie store wall, casually placing one foot on it careful to not let his fresh white Addis get scuffed. The sun was beaming on this late summer day and why he had chosen to wear jeans was beyond him. He thought to himself: “This kid’s got some damn good tree trunk legs… I ougtha not be ‘shamed to show ‘em off… hate to admit they beat my ol’ scrawny-ass legs… yeah, I oughta get used to shorts if I’m gonna be like this for a while.”

A beautiful black girl wearing shorts that only accented what nature had given her walked by, catching LaRon’s eye. Subconsciously, he let out a whistle. “Ay baby, what’s yo know-good taday?”

The girl pulled down her sunglasses and looked at him peculiarly. “I think you barkin ‘up da wrong tree honey.”

“That’s funny cuz you stopped ta look back at who’s makin all da ruckus.”

“Haha, and maybe if a chiuaua wasn’t yappin’ ta try to tap something he ain’t got no know-how how ta tap we’d work somethin’ out.”

The girl removed a buggy from the holding rack and proceeded to go inside while LaRon continued to watch her from his distance, never moving from his pose – his head just nonchalantly turned in her direction.

“Baby, I don’t know what a pretty boy like you is doin’ round in these parts tryna holla at girls wearing that shirt is up to, but if you tryna be cute it’s workin. Just be careful cuz there a lot of people round here who you can’t be funny with.” She saunters inside.

LaRon let a coy grin creep on his face. Even wearing this college-aged white kid’s body he still had his charm. Even wearing this queer-ass shirt he still could get some pussy. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice approaching him.

“You’ve got to be the craziest muddafuca I ever seen standing in that white body wearing a shirt like that outside of a ghetto food store.”

“I been haunting this spot for 35 years & I know this neighborhood like the back of my hand. People here ain’t bad like them white folks have you think they is. You know dat fool.”

“I hope you don’t mean that hand! Cuz the hand you have now ain’t never had to touch nothing that wasn’t catered!”

“You always got some jokes,” LaRon playfully punched and fought with his comrade.

“So what’s it like?”

“I’m hornier, I never thought that the sex drive between 35 and 24 was so different, butcha learn somethin’ everyday.”

“Yeah? You find some fresh man meat?”

“Shuddup fool. Just cuz Jonny here’s gay don’t mean that I got to be.”

“So why you wearing that gay-ass shirt?”

“Got to play the role dog. I been struggling all week tryna be dis kid. But since the incantation only joined our physical bodies and not our minds or souls, it’s hard tryna pass as him.”

“When you ready we can go back to my place and finish it. You fool his family and friends up in the Hills?”

“Yea, tho dey think I be talkin like dis because I listen ta too much rap or shit like dat.”

“Fuckin’ rich folk, once you got his memories, we can rob dem all blind from dey bank accounts & everythin.”

“Dey deserve it for hirin those lawyers to convict yo brother of rape. Classic tale o pretty white daughter can never tell a lie especially when she don’t wanna confess to bein a slut.”

“Yea man, your “sister,” is gonna get hers…”

As the two conspire, the woman from earlier comes out of the store carrying her bag. She hands LaRon the receipt and he takes it with his index and middle fingers. He looks at the back and realizes that she wrote her number on it. He puts his hands to his face, let’s out an audible grunt as the woman looks back. She quickly smiles and walks away.

“Daaaamn Ron! You tryna get some wit dat body already?”

“Hellz yea. This boy got a hella fine body. I’m thinkin dat instead of me transferrin back to my ol one I just run away wit you in dis one. And maybe bring dat girl. Haha” He starts to act cocky by tip-toeing around his friend.

Wayne stays still and looks amused. “Listen, Ron, there’s somthin’ I gotta tell you.”

“You attracted to me? It’s all good, I can see why.” He flexes and teasingly licks his bicep. “Always known you like you boys… especially the creamy ones haha.”

Ron lifts up his shirt, showing off a defined chest and abdomen.

Wayne blushes. “Ron, fuck, stop dat. You can’t be doin dat shit round here lookin like you do and uhhh.. dressed like day.. listen… the spell… “

“Yea man, what?” He pulls down his shirt.

“This next part, about joining your mind and soul to his body… dat means dat you become him.”

“Yea, the master plan.”

“No, it means you become everything he is.”

“Yeah, and we take all that is his and his thievin’ family.”

“Yes, but that also means… you will be everything that he is… even gay.”

“Nah man, dat can’t be it.”

“Ron it is. Either you take the next part of the spell and accept being him totally with you as the dominant personality… or let his personality come back with you along for the ride. I’m sorry man.”

“Ah, damn.” Ron tears the receipt in two and drops it to the ground. “All’s well dat ends well.”

“You takin this really good? I don’t kno whether you mad at me or not…”

“Life has a funny way sometimes… ‘sides… I never go without a fight. What’s important now is deliverin some justice… some real equity. “ He puts his hand on Wayne’s shoulder, making wane blush again.

But we ain’t got to do the spell tonight… right?”

“We gotta do it relatively soon Ron….”

“Fine.” LaRon picks up the receipt pieces. “But tonite, before I start using my talents and his body to please some boys… Imma get this chick… maybe trigger some new cravings in this body.”

The two smile knowingly at one another, and give each other a soulful dap and pound.

- Slick Psych