Yeah, I Took The Pills

“'Morning, Ed,” said Ryan, rubbing his eyes as he came into the kitchen, “Did you take those hair growth pills last night before – Oh my god!!”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “I took the hair growth pills.”

“Holy shit, buddy!” said Ryan, “What the hell happened…?! Well, I guess we can trim you down a little bit, and it won’t be so bad. And is it me, or are you looking a little bit.. beefier this morning?”

“Well I took the muscle growth pills last night, too.”

“Oh no, no, no!” said Ryan, “So you took the hair growth pills and the muscle growth pills both on the same night?”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “So what? I figured I’d just take care of it all at once.”

“Wow, man,” said Ryan, “You’re not supposed to take them together like that. It, like, multiplies the effects.”

“What!” said Ed, “I just wanted a little bit more hair and a little bit more muscle! What are you saying?!”

“I’m saying I think you’re gonna end up one huge, hairy fucking muscleguy, dude,” said Ryan, “I think you’re already halfway there!”

“Halfway!” said Ed, “Oh shit! So I’m gonna get even bigger and even hairier? And how long until the pills wear off and I go back to normal?”

“Well the effects usually last up to 48 hours, but since you took them together, man, I don’t really know…”

“But it’s not gonna be, like, permanent, is it??” said Ed, starting to get worried.

“I don’t know, dude,” said Ryan, “Listen, why don’t we just give it the rest of today to let your transformation finish, and then we’ll enjoy our weekend just like we planned on doing.”

“Yeah,” said Ed, “Except you turned out perfectly and I’m gonna end up some muscle brute.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ryan, “Maybe you’ll like it! And as soon as we get back, we’ll go see the guy who sold us these pills and see what he has to say.”

“Well all right,” said Ed, “But he sure as hell better be able to fix this!”