How to Make a Man

I’d had enough of city living. I wanted to move somewhere peaceful but still close enough to visit my friends and associates occasionally. I made some inquires and eventually settled on what one might refer to as a “gentleman’s estate”. Surprisingly the house had been on the market for a number of years so it was extremely cheap, which was great considering my limited bank account, and came completely furnished.

I explored each of the many rooms in closer detail as soon as I moved in. I immediately felt like I belonged in this place with its treasure trove of antique furniture and secret panels. I happened upon a recipe titled “How to Make a Man” in one of the old chests I found in the attic.

The recipe seemed to show how to make a gingerbread man except there was a very unusual ingredient I had never heard of before. My curiosity aroused I decided I would make the man. I had most of the necessities already in the kitchen but had no idea where to find the missing strange component. I was about ready to give up when I had an urge to look in the attached pantry. Sure enough stuffed in a back corner was the last piece of the recipe. After the prerequisite cooking and cooling time had elapsed I bit into my treat, savoring the spiciness then greedily wolfing the entire cookie in quick order, wishing I had another one.

As I was unpacking my belongings in my new bedroom later on my insides began to churn. The room started to spin wildly and fortunately I fell backwards onto the bed as I passed out into a deep dreamless sleep.

I had no idea how long I had been out but the room was black as night when I awoke. I rose off the bed feeling strangely heavier but I attributed that to the half-drowsy state my mind was still in. I nearly stumbled as I found my way to the light switch, soft light flooding the room when I flipped it on. My mouth must have dropped a mile - all of the boxes that had been here earlier were nowhere to be seen! I had an odd sense of vertigo as if my perspective was somehow… higher. Could this get any more perplexing? Apparently it could for about this time I came to the realization I was completely naked, standing upon legs that were not mine.

I caught my reflection in the mirror as I entered the adjoining bath, hoping to find something to put over myself. This had to be a trick of the light for what I saw looking back at me was impossible. Not only were my legs not my own, the body I was seeing was that of a complete stranger. I couldn’t believe it when I raised my arm and the stud in the mirror did the same. Sixty years of wear and tear had melted away, leaving my skin taut and youthful with a slightly bronzed tone that accentuated every nook and crevice I now possessed. My body blossomed with muscles; chiseled brick work abs, two glorious mounds for pecs, guns the likes of which I had only ever dreamed of before, and legs no longer something to be hidden. And hair! I had the most glorious mane of dark blonde hair cascading to my shoulders while a dense black forest covered my torso. Stubble graced my strong jaw line while deep inset eyes seemed to gaze into my very being. My manhood had not escaped unscathed either. I now possessed an uncut monster befitting my new form. I basked in the glorious image I beheld. Ah, the power I could feel surging within me. This body was awesome. Brady my man you are one prime stud. Brady? Where did that come from? My name wasn’t Brady and yet it seemed somehow natural now.

“Hello, my name is Brady.” I couldn’t believe my ears when a deep melodic baritone erupted from my mouth. Then I was struck by a nagging thought: how was I going to explain my sudden transformation to my associates and friends? No way would anyone believe who I was.

No sense worrying about that tonight. For now I was simply going to enjoy my new self to the utmost. I decided to get myself cleaned up and go to the city for a little fun. After showering I found clothes I hadn’t noticed before. I slipped into the tightest leather pants I never would or could have worn prior then encased my sockless feet into very expensive loafers. The soft white shirt I donned clung to my muscles while exposing my hairy chest. I couldn’t help but admire the hunk in the mirror.

New memories of a different existence came flooding into my head, replacing my old self while still leaving me with the knowledge I had built over a lifetime. Brady, or rather I, was smart, sexy, and wealthy – what an irresistible combination! I slipped into a black leather duster that hung perfectly on my 6’3 frame before I slid into my midnight black Porsche to head to the nearest bar; sure I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my evening alone.

I never could find the recipe again. Guess I’m stuck like this….